The widest lane in SPILL: the strongest political absurdity of the day, regardless of party or institution.
A localized ceasefire has given the Vatican just enough hope to become the most emotionally invested person in a war nobody has agreed to end.
11 hours ago · POLITICAL PARODY
Tom Cotton wants winter mornings protected, forcing the Senate to decide which half of the day gets a stable home.
12 hours ago
Facing lawsuits from both sides of the Potomac, the proposed monument has been advised to project warmth, scale back its silhouette and stop looking so legally ambitious.
14 hours ago
The agency’s new accountability initiative begins by establishing that every federal vehicle has a truth—and usually a dashboard camera it would prefer not to discuss.
16 hours ago
The campaign’s new field guide advises watchers to remain calm, avoid eye contact and never announce a result before it has had time to become suspicious.
18 hours ago
The candidate’s team was thrilled to receive divine-intensity support until it had to turn it into a mailer about property taxes.
20 hours ago
The new unit will stop suspicious votes before they commit the crime of being counted.
2 days ago
The trial includes limited governing, no surprise accountability, and a cancellation process voters have already begun in person.
2 days ago
Unable to agree on war, trade or language, the world’s top diplomats discover a durable coalition against the phrase “critical moment.”
2 days ago
The party’s new communications protocol ensures every unspoken thought lands somewhere between concern and a donor breakfast.
2 days ago
The new office will turn every clemency case into a sentence powerful people can hear themselves starring in.
2 days ago
The new hire’s first finding: a man cannot be both a priority target and unavailable since 2017 without a rewrite.
3 days ago
A late-breaking scandal, a revised economic plan and one regrettable podcast appearance have arrived after the customer already checked out.
3 days ago
After her Democratic endorsement, Republicans discover their party-loyalty policy excludes the one senator everyone knew was already on the mountain.
3 days ago
A new campaign quality-control unit discovers that a photo beside a combine is not the same thing as product stability.
3 days ago
The military’s new support line can locate a satellite in orbit but still needs a manager to identify the person who slowed it down.
4 days ago
The department’s new anti-doxxing strategy asks federal personnel to become too bland, evasive and spiritually beige to track.
4 days ago
The administration insists the secretary of state was merely campaigning as a private citizen, leaving diplomats to ask which Rubio keeps the nuclear phone.
4 days ago
The new segment promises a tightly controlled encounter with spontaneity, followed by forty-five uninterrupted minutes about gas prices.
4 days ago
A localized humanitarian deal leaves the capital facing its gravest operational challenge yet: doing something before holding a panel about it.
4 days ago
The coalition may be temporary, but it has already adjusted the thermostat, watered the democracy and changed every password.
4 days ago
Georgia’s Senate race enters its final week with one candidate placing the national energy market under the supervision of a Tuesday.
5 days ago
Jerome Powell says the cost of living has heard the feedback and will now schedule several meetings about it.
5 days ago
Twenty million households get £100, while the Treasury asks everyone to inhale through inflation and exhale directly into a bank levy.
5 days ago
The legal drama’s only casualty was the ancient custom of pretending both sides wanted different outcomes.
5 days ago
The new White House loyalty program rewards disputed defeats with lounge access, diplomatic sympathy and absolutely no connection to the country that voted.
5 days ago
The review was meant to determine whether Hasan Piker was safe for public association; it accidentally evaluated the rest of government.
6 days ago
A former prime minister can promise a new regional future, but first somebody has to confirm he answers emails.
6 days ago
The fictional review booth says the former president may have illegally advanced the ball by making a complete sentence in public.
6 days ago
The network’s expanded election operation reportedly needs clearer character arcs, less procedural dialogue and one Senate race capable of surviving a commercial break.
6 days ago