New Jersey Places Lieutenant Governor’s Office on Performance Improvement Plan

New Jersey has placed the Office of the Lieutenant Governor on a 90-day performance improvement plan after Gov. Mikie Sherrill accepted the resignation of her No. 2 and determined that the position itself had displayed “an ongoing inability to meet basic expectations for being a room where government occurs.”

Under the plan, the office suite in Trenton will remain vacant while its desk, flag, executive bathroom and ceremonial fruit bowl complete mandatory online training. A state contractor has been hired to click through 14 hours of modules on behalf of the furniture, including Professional Boundaries for Mahogany Surfaces, How To Receive a Complaint Without Becoming the Complaint, and a 47-minute interactive scenario in which a leather chair learns not to schedule a private meeting after 8 p.m.

“We are not eliminating the lieutenant governor’s office,” said an administration official standing beside a locked door fitted with a small laminated badge reader. “We are giving it a chance to demonstrate that it can re-enter the workforce with humility, documentation and a functioning anonymous reporting channel.”

The office’s improvement plan requires weekly check-ins with Human Resources, though no one is permitted to enter until the room successfully completes a role-playing exercise involving a visiting dignitary, a conference table and the phrase, “Let’s invite counsel.” If progress is satisfactory, the suite may be allowed to resume answering ceremonial phone calls by late spring.

Complications arose Tuesday when the office’s out-of-office reply began automatically thanking callers for their concern, promising a prompt review and directing them to report any further concerns directly to the office. State technicians disabled the loop after it sent 611 confidential complaints to the same fax machine.

Officials have also removed the lieutenant governor’s nameplate and replaced it with a temporary placard reading, “POSITION UNDER SUPERVISION.” The seal of New Jersey has been covered with a small childproof outlet cap, pending a facilities assessment.

Applicants for the eventual vacancy will be interviewed in a neighboring conference room known as Harbor B, where they must demonstrate their ability to maintain appropriate boundaries with a folding partition, a catered sandwich tray and a state-issued lanyard. Finalists will receive a parking validation only after completing a reference check conducted by three people who have never worked in New Jersey government.

By the end of the quarter, the administration expects the office to meet its goals: acknowledge policies, respect policies, and stop forwarding all concerns to the decorative bowl of mints.